He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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