What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
