Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
