whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
be right there i have to get my cape
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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