i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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