I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
