I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
