This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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