So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
