"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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