what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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