somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
