you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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