I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
