considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
How does one acquire holy water?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
