Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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