i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
