Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actions speak louder than pants.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize