I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She's the barista slut.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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