God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
