Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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