so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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