Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
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I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
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By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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