marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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