Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
