She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize