There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
