That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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