Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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