I think I am morally bankrupt
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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