Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
