Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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