Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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