I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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