It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
