it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
