He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
