he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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