worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
