She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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