For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
