He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize