Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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