It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
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Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
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He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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