What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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