I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
