All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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