I have demons in me.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
