I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
the gays at disneyland are vicious
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
