Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
