Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
