just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
