Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
