id be glad to
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
