No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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